the new ground for divorce in the Hindu Marriage Act and the Special Marriage Act got me thinking. have we as a society become radical? what is it that has changed so much? the very purpose of the Hindu Marriage Act, i learnt was to safeguard the institution of marriage, which is why the divorce laws relied more on the fault theory and less on the breakdown theory of marriage. why, today, all of a sudden has the law chosen to forget that and taken such a step?
the reason, i think, is that our generation has grown up in a world of instant gratification. we all want to grow up too quickly, we have instant food, instant communication and instant forums to advertise the way we feel. we fail to realize the effect of these catalysts in our life. social networking sites that a lot of us are absolutely addicted to very easily lure us into putting our life up on display. we don't realize but we begin to share our most intimate feelings with people we don't really know. our popularity, we believe is measured by the number of people we have on our friends list. little disagreements that happen as a part of everyday life don't have a cooling-off period. agitation and irritation is free flowing, with these sites acting as our punching bags. what is the word coming to? where have those times gone when disagreements were talked about and resolutions made by talking, through personal contact? where have those times gone where we spent more real than virtual time with the people we love? yes, there are exceptions to every rule and i know a lot of people who still believe in the (for convenience sake let me call it) "old world" ways. but, like everything else in lfe, i apply the 80-20 rule here.
there seems to be nothing but the fast lane in today's world and all of us have little choice but to live life in that lane. there are a handful of people who with their values and principles, people who believe in the "old world" ways who choose to apply the brakes and live life more than just exist. most people would argue that these people are the ones who get left behind in life. i don't think so. for life, i believe is a one time chance, one opportunity to live and love. right decisions that have the perfect consequences are rare to make but a little guidance, a little support and lots of love will definitely help you and me tide over the stormiest of seas. and that guidance, that support and that love is real and comes not from the world we spend majority of our time living in.
hunger today is satisfied with a bag of chips lying in the larder or popping a ready food packet in the microwave or in a rare situation, making some maggi. we eat wrongly, sleep less, use our cellphones more than they should be used, spend more time in front of screens than we do looking out at nature. these things have consumed us so much that we are so lost in being what the world wants us to be that we forget to just be. development of technology is an excellent thing. i do not oppose that in any way. but taking undue adavntage of that development is degradation of the soul, of the person and of the human race as a whole. instant gratification and the want for immediate results is slowly but surely leading to a huge change in the way we think. let's for a few minutes apply the brakes on the fast lane and think if where we're going is where we really want to be.
I'm so glad to have known you.You are really something. :)
ReplyDeletePs. Apologies if this came across as totally random.
wht shd hold them together whn the bond hs broken up? surely, the bond cud be both luv or lust. If it ws luv, they hd better part 4 it cannot be evoked by any efforts frm outside, it either "is" or "is not". A flower blooms,spreads its fragrance and finally withers away; can it ever bloom under compulsion? On the other hand if lust held them together, as it happens in almost all the cases, then wht was the difference between their union n the one which is paid for? the latter involves one time payment whereas the former entails payment in installments for the whole life. I know u disagree, doctrinated as u are, but hold on! b4 losing ur temper plz consider wht is the basis of "marriage" n do u know the concept of "restitution of conjugal rights", denial of those rights cd well amount to cruelty!rights? yes a contract cn give rise to them, but "love?" wht is "marriage"? a contract giving exclusive rights to sleep with each other? plz look around, the society will give u the answer. N wht should it be? well, i know u hv the answer.
ReplyDeleteP.S.-OLD WORLD WAYS- yes they reach at point X at lets say, 60 or 65, but still all those immature childish traits of human nature remain all the same- possessiveness,haunting desires,lust, jealosy, n thats hw they'll die (exceptions apart, but plz look around)The present generation living at a faster pace of life, might reach at point X at a younger age, but then, atleast they'll hv some time to sit n think "is that all?" all pleasures lived n experienced, now wht? hv u noticed, more westerners hv been turning to india 4 sumthin new, sumthing higher, look at Bill Gates, he's seen all, wht is he doin nw? A hungry man can hardly think beyond bread, so its better he hd his bread sooner so tht he can think abt.n find sumthin higher, n higher, n the highest, which is surely the gr8est luxury.
@ polash: thank you :-) the randomest things sometimes make me feel so good!
ReplyDelete@ anonymous: I'm afraid you haven't understood what I'm trying to say and I find the same difficulty understanding your comment. Just to clarify, I am not for or against the amendment. I just felt like it gives a message to humankind as a whole that we are becoming increasingly affected by the instant gratification phenomenon. As far as the old world ways are concerned, I'm one of those people who live by those ways.
YOUR ARTICLE- y this amendment? proposed cause-present life-style involving "instant gratification phenomenon". result-degradation of the soul.
ReplyDeleteMY COMMENT- welcome amendment-institution of marriage as it practically exists is flawed. instant gratification phenomenon-agreed, but it is in a way conducive to realization of the need for evolution of the soul.
now i know you really haven't understood what i've said. my contention was not why the amendment. and i have neither proposed a cause or an effect. so, that settles that.
ReplyDeleteand i'm sorry, but i think you need to look at the world with a little more love. the fault lies not in the institution of marriage but in us, for messing with that institution.
i will say no more. Amen!
"the very purpose of the Hindu Marriage Act, i learnt was to safeguard the institution of marriage, which is why the divorce laws relied more on the fault theory and less on the breakdown theory of marriage. "why, today, all of a sudden has the law chosen to forget that and taken such a step?...the reason, i think, is that our generation has grown up in a world of instant gratification." whose words r these ma'm? hahaha...srry, but i'm happy...nothing cud be better, my words came frm ur mouth- the fault lies in us!exactly, we shouldn't mess with it(i'd said u hv the answer!), n practically we always do, n thats y its totally "MESSED-UP". p.s.-tauba ritu ma'm ko gussa jab ataa hai...keep posting:-D
ReplyDeleteYour post reminds me of that famous poem, Leisure by Davies."What is this life full of care, we have no time to stand and stare.." Tis indeed a pity that we all are so entangled in the myriad world of today, so awed by change, that we have basically forgotten to apply the brakes sometimes. We have started looking out for quick solutions rather than question and analyse the problems at hand. Everything has come to down to the "100 ways of doing so and so thing".
ReplyDeleteAs Whitman wrote,
"O ME! O life!... of the questions of these recurring;
Of eyes that vainly crave the light—of the objects mean—of the struggle ever renew’d;
Of the poor results of all—of the plodding and sordid crowds I see around me;
The question, O me! so sad, recurring—What good amid these, O me, O life?
Answer.That you are here—that life exists, and identity;
That the powerful play goes on, and you will contribute a verse."
I must say you have beautifully expressed the fast changing world of today.We do need to introspect a little. :) Really awesome and lucidly written post.