in pursuit of happiness

i'm at the fag end of yet another year, and with each passing year, they just seem to fly faster. when i look at 2009 in rewind, i can see so much that happened, but like every year, at the end of it all, there's a feeling that there's so much i didn't do. these last few months however, have taught me loads. there's been learning, growing and realization. 


the year, i knew right at the beginning was possibly one of the most crucial years of my life. one, i was giving my 12th boards and two, i was giving a competitive exam that would make or break my dream. the first half (almost) of my year was when i spent most time with books. horrible government textbooks and books that were my aid for CLAT. my economics textbook probably had "nls" written in it more than it had the name of alfred marshall ( though the dude had something to say about EVERY economic principle). and all my energies (or should i say that's what i thought then) were channelized towards getting into NLS. i thought i was working very hard, but the results that came out in june told me otherwise. i was a little disappointed (ah! ok. that maybe a little understatement). i was quite devastated when i was allotted HNLU. cursed the system, vowed to get something to happen about it and yes, i did curse myself too. i had vowed then, that i would take CLAT again. this was not where i saw myself!


the dates for college to reopen kept getting pushed further. a lot of good things happened then though. my extended holiday gave me an excuse to catch up on all the reading that i'd missed out on. i got to attend a wedding that wouldn't have been possible otherwise, i got to go for a family get together that felt so good because i'd not met my cousins for years! and i got to take a short trip with mum and dad (and the highlight of that trip was those yummmmmm hot, fried in desi ghee jalebis on the streets of amritsar in the rain!!)


college opened...finally! in september. and three days was all it took for me to form a strange bond and develop an attachment to HNLU. today, i write this on the eve of the last exam of my first semester at law school. there is so much i have to thank this place for. these four months have been amazing for me personally. they've given me a chance to rediscover myself, someone i'd lost through the years in the pursuit of happiness. these four months breathed new life into me. they helped me find the happiness i'd been chasing around earlier.


the pursuit of happiness, something that we are all in search of, consciously or subconsciously is not actually a pursuit. it is HERE and it is NOW. in these four months, observing, introspecting and contemplating have led me to learning a lot. those little moments, whether it was with Rohan playing pictionary in the sand, or in those rickshaws with Avani di, or eating that pink ice cream sitting pillion on a scooter with Paridhi squashed in between, those silly sociological debates with Dhrupad, pulling Peeyuse's leg, Nishant's conversations about his daadi, eating gupchups in phool chowk with Namrata, not one of them failed to put a huge smile on my face. earlier, these little things wouldn't mean much. they would have been just another moment on an ordinary day. and i would still be chasing that feeling of happiness not realizing that i was actually feeling it. right then. four months has given me back some of the innocence that had gottten left behind on my journey. they've given me smiles....when i've seen the little kids in the campus swinging in the branches of the trees, when i see the kids in the basti playing in the sand, when i see the absolutely carefree smiles and lit up eyes, with not a care in the world, they remind me that i could be that way if i wanted to, only if i didn't let the innocence die. and i think that's been one of the best things my first semester at law school's given me.


apart from some absolutely wonderful people who i've met, who've now become integral parts of my life, apart from a little bookish knowledge and a lot of lessons in life, law school's helped me find me. my pursuit of happiness no more remains a pursuit, for now, i feel happiness in every moment - the ups and the downs :) though there's not been much that i've achieved in the last year tangibly, it's been one of the most fulfilling years of my life and for that one reason, it's always going to be very very special.


cheers to the year gone by and a wish upon a star for the year that lies ahead.